Yesterday, I CELEBRATED my 38th Birthday! As I started my day, it began with relaxation and then I started reflecting on me. So much has changed within me and around me and when it came to my past. I realized that I was ugly on the inside, just plain miserable on the outside, and damaged goods. I had low self esteem and I couldn’t forgive. Then I had the ordasity to have malice, self hatred, rejection, resentment in my heart and I didn’t KNOW how to TRULY love me. The one thing that really stuck out to me as I was self examining, was the fact that I’m NOT the same Tyra I was last year, or ten years ago. Yes, I’ve always had a good heart and tried to treat people the way I wanted to be treated. I’ve always tried to love my family and friends with everything in me. And last but not least, I’ve always tried to live a life that is pleasing unto God. But there was still something missing, and deep down inside I knew there was so much more to me then what the eye could see. And it was up to me to get to the surface and the root of what was really going on within me. My past was full of trials, tribulations, heartbreak, heartaches, pain, & self hatred. To be honest with you I’ve done it all, self medicated myself with cocaine because it made me numb, drunk myself to an oblivion state to forget, and used sex to manipulate men in helping me feel good about myself. NONE of those things had a lasting effect, as a matter of fact and to be honest with you again they really made me feel worse. For some reason instead of looking deep within, we look for temporary fixes. Whether it’s a man, shopping, eating, sex, or other temp services, nothing will be able to fix you until you’re HONEST & OPEN with SELF & GOD. I will never forget that day that I literally stripped naked, looked in the mirror, told God what I saw, & asked Him what He saw. I have to be honest with you it wasn’t easy being honest about self. Who wants to call themselves broken, backbiter, lier, gossiper, cheater, thief, filthy,fornicator, adulterer, murderer, mean, unkind, unloving, arrogant, stubborn, or etc. I know I didn’t, BUT I’m GLAD I did even though it didn’t feel good, I knew it would soon pay off. Then to top it off, NOW I have to hear what GOD thoughts are about me? You see, it didn’t matter to Him that I could sing or I was gifted. He didn’t even care about how many Church services I attended, or how many ministries I was in, NOR how much tithes & offerings I payed. He was concerned about MY HEART & MOTIVES. After listening to Him for an hour or so, the tears wouldn’t stop falling and I was so ashamed of how I made Him feel. I KNEW from that day forward that I had to rid myself of the carnal mindset of victim, some people, and something’s. I KNEW that I had to start making better decisions and choices for Tyra. I KNEW that GOD had amazing plans for me, however, one couldn’t tell because whatever it was had been hidden underneath layers of hurt, pain, and fear. How does one began to dig out of the pit that was created by self and fed daily by others? FIRST, You START with repenting for thinking you had all the answers, but truthfully you really didn’t want the answers that really mattered. Then you start getting to the root of every emotion you’ve ever felt. Next, you learn to master the spirit of offense because offense will leave you stagnate and caught up on people. Last but not least, you LEARN to TRULY LOVE YOU. Some would say, “I’ve changed” while others may say “She’s acting funny”……I simply say “I’m Evolving”. We must understand that nothing or no one stays the same….either you “Evolve” or you stay stuck. I CHOOSE to EVOLVE & It FEELS GREAT ~Tyra

I Want To KNOW How Are YOU Evolving?! #LetsTalkAboutIT

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